CielXReader- Chapter 15

Is it unnecessary to want what you cannot have? Is there any real sin in the want for domination, money, love? Is it truly impossible to have all three and still live, happily, healthily, and long? Sometimes Ciel asked himself this question…and sometimes he did not.

The young Earl had been roused from sleep many times in the evening. Sometimes he had a cold sweat on his pallid brow and others he had an exotically fearful expression on his face, his blue and purple eyes glowing harmoniously in the dark blanket of night. They stood out like little orbs, gazing into the unrelenting night giving off no forgiveness. Each time he awoke, he was aware more time had gone by and how unforgiving that was.

Time waits for no one, leaving all the losers, all the dead ones in the past, in the dust, to forever try to be remembered by the souls of the living. However, what would happen when they were forgotten? Nothing. Time does not care, Ciel had rationalized, and neither should he. The unbearable thought of dying with no recollection of him left in this world hurt like a stab in the chest. Even if he was remembered, for all the terrible lies and manipulation he fed to his acquaintances, he wanted to be known.

With those last thoughts, Ciel finally fell back into a light slumber, breathing the still air as if it were going to disappear and leave him alone without a sound.

The window that had been left cracked a touch to let in some fresh air illuminated the bedroom with a small pool of light, glistening over the musical box. A small gust of wind entered the room, brushing the music box, tapping it lightly, and even scooting it a touch or two. The first three notes of the song hummed out into the dark, desolate night, making Ciel shudder in an unknown, melancholy feel. This night was just too long.

The Earl crept out of his bed silently, thanking his parents for his small, nimble stature, and tiptoed to the dresser. The drawer slid open easily and he fumbled around, biting his tongue in hopes of not making even the slightest sound to aware Sebastian of his plan. He gazed behind himself, cocking his head to see right towards the door of the room that was so dimly lit; the butler could be in the shadows, staring with a killer look at his young master.

This certainly would not end well. Sebastian was a butler, not only that, but he was also a guardian- a demon, he had to watch over Ciel to ensure his safety. In Ciel's unrealistic rationalizing, this was not going against their Faustian Contract; he was not heading face first into danger. He was simply departing for an hour or two to examine a dead boy's corpse in the middle of rural London.

Not to mention the kidnappers target boys.

Ciel immediately deleted the thought from memory and focused on finding the coat. The last thing the earl needed was a cold that Sebastian would ask as to how it came about. Ciel sighed, finding the warm coat, and threw it on. Thankfully, tonight's pajamas were a button up shirt and loose bottoms. He threw on his shoes, the ones without laces, but in fact buckles (for he could not tie them properly) and went to the nightstand.

The furniture in the room was a darker version of cherry wood. It was an almost black color with a reddish tint, making the room have some sort of life too it. The scent that prolonged the halls, rooms, and clothes was a sort of mint and cotton-fresh aroma. It was one of Ciel's favorite for its obvious tint in the air. He smoothed down the bed head and headed over to the slightly opened window, peering out.

The little house had only one floor and the window led to an area of green grass, softening the jump to the ground. The earl smirked, pushed up the window, and stuck out his right leg. It did not immediately meet earth, but as he swung over the left, sat his bottom on the sill, and leaned forward, he jerked himself to the ground with a faint plop onto the grass.

The devious smirk was replaced with one of triumph as Ciel snuck away, continuously hiding behind objects and trees. The sky was still a pitch black of nothingness, stretching forever, but the moon illuminated the streets, homes, and animals still out or nocturnal. Ciel ran a hand through his hair; he had not realized how fast his heartbeat had been until now. He calmed himself down, took one last glance behind, and headed forward into the depths of the rural poor.

He retraced his path, trying to remember where he had gone the first time with you. He wondered suddenly, how were you doing? Were you okay? You had better be okay.

Ciel shook his head and continued through the snowy ground. Unlike before, the ground was not quite so beautifully white, but instead the ice had somewhat melted. The ground, before had been piled high with the soft snow, but now Ciel's foot barely sank into it to meet the ground. It did in fact quiet his steps and he was very thankful for that. He did not want to get into any messes or draw any attention whatsoever. This was a private matter that he wanted to investigate for himself.

Ciel made a few turns down some 'familiar' looking alleyways, he did not remember anything from the scene. The snow always did that, it seemed to cover everything, making it seem all the same. Left and right, First avenue, Gordon street, they looked the same! They both had tall buildings, some houses, all covered in white-ness causing the buildings colors to merge and conflict one another.

This was by far tedious.

Ciel headed down a particularly dark alleyway, the freezing cold numbing his thoughts. He looked to the sky, dotted with stars and specked with floating clouds.

"Where is he?" Ciel muttered, looking behind the set of trashcans.

Ciel almost waited for a, "Where is who?" Or even an "Oh! He's over here." However, neither came, for he was all alone in this winter wonderland.

After quite some time Ciel took a seat around a corner. He contemplated what to do. Not only could he not find Alex or you, but he also could not find his way back. As mentioned before, everything was far too similar for recognition. He put his head in his hands.

"Why does this always happen to me?" He wondered aloud, "Am I really that avaricious and morose that the universe continually wants to keep me this way? Why is it, when I need something I must always rely on others? It is not fair! I am highly…capabl…capab…capa…"

Ciel leaned his head on the trashcan, vision blurring, and then his eyes fluttered close into a restful, yet unwanted slumber.

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"Ow…" Ciel muttered as he felt a slight nudge in his side.

"Ouch!" He hollered, for this time, the subtle nudge had turned into a vicious kick. Ciel's eye shot open and he looked above him, jumping to his numb feet. His teeth were chattering from the cold and his lips were a pale shade of blue. His body hurt from all the pins and needles and goose bumps covering his skin.

Ciel was about to demand why Sebastian had kicked him when the butler met his eyes.

Sebastian's eyes were no longer the unemotionless pits full of fake emotion; nor were they full of amusement. They were full of something much, much worse. It was a mixture of anger, deceit, and even disapproval.

"Are you satisfied?" He asked, not even putting the 'milord' at the end of the sentence.

"Sebast-"

"What did this prove?"

Ciel tried again, only to be cut off, "What did this prove? Please tell me! Because all I see is a pathetic young boy, who could have been captured, again may I add, or killed from frostbite. What in the world were you thinking?"

Ciel's eye turned from shock to devoid in an instant. "I was thinking about how much I rely on you and how I can do things on my own."

"You're such a child," Sebastian replied, "There is nothing wrong with using others for your help, why else am I here?"

"You wouldn't let me come back to investigate!" Ciel bit back, he kept the steady hold of his butler' gaze. But the demon's glare was very strong and demanding. Sebastian…how could he possess such a look? Sebastian's eyes seemed to be edacious, trying to consume all of Ciel's inner thoughts to prove his rightness.

Ciel finally looked away, seeing it was still night. The sky now was a slight purple, more of an eggplant color, fading in the West to become a navy blue. Less stars twinkled into the beautiful sky and the moon was barely hanging onto the sky, fighting to stay for a few more hours.

"And what have you found then, milord?" Sebastian asked with mock curiosity.

"No…Nothing I suppose." Ciel sighed, now in defeat.

"You went against our contract."

"I did not! I did not throw myself into danger."

Sebastian shook his head, "What were you even looking for? We decided ___ was kidnapped anyhow."

"I was looking for Alex to conduct some clues!"

"…" Sebastian snickered; a smile crept about his features.

"What is so funny?" Ciel demanded, now pouting with fury.

Sebastian smiled wider, "The Scotland Yard were here remember not?"

"I do remember."

"So what would make you acquire the thought that they would have left a dead being here? Of course they took Alex, milord, no disrespect, but it is in fact comical."

Ciel's eye grew wide and he scowled, angry with himself, the world, and especially the Yard. This entire thing had been a waste and Sebastian had caught him. There really was nothing you could keep from a demon.

Ciel finally stood all the way up, swayed, but maintained balance. "Milord, if it pleases you to know, I had in fact taken it upon myself during the exchange with the Scotland Yard to test the smell of Alex and run a test on his system. He was in fact drugged or had been using Opium."

"Ah, that was the smell; I knew it was familiar, damn merchant." Ciel muttered, folding his arms. "Sebastian, take me back to the house, I want to rest some I suppose and then we will head to Lau's…place."

"Yes milord."

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It was mid morning when the young earl and Sebastian departed to go to the more city and central part of England. Ciel had dressed in his proper attire, for he would be seeing people of status. He wore a thick jacket and tie. His slacks had a crease on either side and he brought along his walking stick. He had recently purchased a new one, the one previous was identical to this new one, except the skull was replaced by a blue stone. Ciel rubbed his finger over it subconsciously as he rode to the more busy part of England.

When finally arriving at Lau's business, Ciel was helped out of the carriage by Sebastian.

"We have arrived milord."

Ciel took a shuddering breath, he hated the smell and intoxicatingly thick smoke given off by Lau's supposedly 'high quality' Opium.

Upon entering, the building three women of Asia decent flocked to the young master's side, welcoming and smiling at him. Ciel just cocked a brow and demanded, "Take me to Lau; I have no business with any of you women."

They pouted but did as he said for he was in fact a customer. Ciel covered his nose and mouth with his hand, his asthma already starting to act up a bit. He coughed lightly receiving a worried look from Sebastian.

"I'm fine." Ciel said, keeping pace with the young girls. He was finally led into a room with less of the thick smoke and uncovered his mouth and nose; he stood tall, Lau smirking at the earl's sudden arrival.

"Ah, let me guess why you're here," Lau began, taking a drag from his long, purple pipe, "Is it because you have finally realized you want to release some sexual frustration?"

"You are absolutely insane! I do not have sexual frustration!" Ciel barked, his face turning slightly red.

"Oh calm down young earl, I know why you are here precisely. You actually want to try some of my opium! The guard dog needs to unwind a bit, eh?" Lau chuckled, kissing Ran Mao's neck.

Ciel sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, "Please stop guessing, you are no good at it." Ciel was offered a seat diagonal from the dealer and took it, crossing his leg over his knee, setting the stick across his lap.

"I'm here to question you about any recent sales…Have you made any unreasonably large shipments for a particular customer lately?"

Lau looked at the ceiling, retracing last month and the one prior to that is sales. "Yes, in fact I have. Just last month a huge order had been shipped in along with a large amount purchased."

"Interesting, and you did not question this?" Ciel asked, now curious.

Lau snickered, "Of course not, buyers are customers and customers make me money."

Ciel smirked as well, "Very true, can you give my butler a copied sheet of this data? It would be very useful to my and the queen's case, keeping her and me off your tail for a while."

"Of course, little Earl, Ran Mao, please show Sebastian the way. Ciel and I will chat while you're both gone." Ran Mao nodded, uncrossed her slender legs and led the unaroused butler to some room.

Ciel and Lau chatted idly, waiting for the pair to return. "So earl, I've heard some rumors about a new lady, about time you've moved on."

"You should not mark rumors, Lau." Ciel bit, sipping some of the tea a woman had offered him.

"Oh no need to get feisty, it was merely an assumption. But may I ask where she is now?"

"I do not have t carry her everywhere, she is not my responsibility."

"You and I both know you're a liar." Lau replied, adjusting the sleeves of his kimono. "Perhaps she has been taken away from you?"

"Lau, I swear if you know anything about her disappearance and have not informed me-"

"Still believe I'm a bad guesser?" Lau chuckled, standing and opening the door to reveal the Chinese woman and Sebastian with a few documents.

Ciel glowered, anger rising within him, "Lau, you are by far more-"

"Just go find your girl so we all don't have to deal with your acrimonious behavior any longer.  She really was changing you for the better. What was her name again?" The drug lord spewed out a few at random.

Ciel stood to take leave, "It was ___, and I guarantee her finding, perhaps you'd like to meet her one day, I have suspicions you know who killed her mother."

"Interesting last words, Phantomhive."

"As to you as well." Ciel replied, heading out the door, hat in hand and butler following right behind.

As the door closed, Lau sat down, the joking and cheerful expression swiped clean off his features. "I do hope he finds her soon."

Ran Mao nodded.

"Want to place a bet?" Once again, the Asian girl nodded, "I say he will find her." Ran Mao agreed, causing Lau to chuckle. "That doesn't make it a very good bet does it?"

"Why not?" Ran Mao asked, crossing her legs and sitting on Lau's lap. "Isn't this better, now neither of us can lose. What better than an equal win?"

"A complete win." Lau replied, then took a long drag of his pipe, and laid his head back on the couch.